Well That Didn't Work

I DON'T WANT TO RUN AWAY, BUT I CAN'T TAKE IT, I DON'T UNDERSTAND. IF I'M NOT MADE FOR YOU THAN WHY DOES MY HEART TELL ME THAT I AM?
Finally, an uneventful day! Everything went smoothly. I woke up at 7:50 feeling refreshed despite staying awake until 3:00 in the morning talking with Dennis online, quite enjoyable.

College Writing at 8:30 was, as always, a waste of time. I ran into Zak on the way back to the dorm and he kept me company while I finished some work for statistics. At 11:30 I had to go to work at the desk downstairs. Even my shift was slow...slow enough, in fact, to do arts and crafts. Shortly after starting my shift, Zak (who'd been bored six floors above me) brought a bunch of art tissue paper down and we folded a bunch of them into little balls to put over the lights on a string of Christmas lights we bought at CVS; it's gonna look really good when we're done.

Statistics was boring. That's all I have to say about that.

Now I'm procrastinating doing my macroeconomics work. Can anyone tell me why I can't get the following image out of my head?
Dennis comes here. I see him and for a moment, we're simply frozen looking at one another before we both run into each other's arms and kiss passionately before speaking a word. I'd start crying with absolute joy and he'd say "God, baby I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry...I love you so much."
Damn it; get it out of my head! No matter what happens with our relationship, I know perfectly well that that won't be it. That just sounds like a scene from some cheesy, corny movie from the 1940's.

Regardless, I came to another conclusion about Dennis today. This was the first time our actual relationship was challenged. This is the first problem within our relationship and he ran. Sure, there were problems, but they were around us, outside of our relationship. The strain we were dealing with was the first problem in our relationship. I can't believe it, he gave up.

The point is...I will fight this until he either gives me some answers so that I can get the closure that I need or give me the benefit of the doubt and give us a chance (if for nothing more that to examine what we had.) Hopefully, it will be the latter of the two. If after he takes the chance and he still feels that we shouldn't be together, or I feel it too, I'll accept it. I think I at least deserve the chance...after all we've been through...all we meant to each other. Until that though, I'll fight, its worth too damn much not to.
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