Well That Didn't Work

Thursday, October 28, 2004

3:22 AM

HAPPINESS IS A HAPLESS CONCEPT
Has anyone been happy or is it all a lie?
Happiness lies in the 'morrow which, of course, will ne'r arrive.
It'll be better when and yet again its just beyond my grasp,
What lesson shall I learn from this, life's twisted bitter class?

I never said I was a good poet...nonetheless, I came to the conclusion today that true happiness can never be achieved...it always lies just out of reach. All my life, I've been waiting, anxiously awaiting the one fleeting moment that I will be able to consider myself truly happy, but it will never come.

"Things will be better for us when we move to New Jersey."
"Things will be better when you get to high school."
"Things will be better when you and I get married and have a family of our own."

Happiness is always in the future. Its like the saying that tomorrow never arrives because the day you once believed to be tomorrow becomes today. Happiness always will be and never is.

I thought I'd finally attained happiness; I thought that it was what I felt every time I laid in Dennis' arms...maybe one can attain true happiness, but since the happiness exists for only fractions of seconds, it is not easily identifiable...