Well That Didn't Work

I love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiis much!

Baby, thank you for staying with me last night. I love you.

Dennis blew off his friends to be with me last night when I needed him, only to sit and do nothing (and I know how much he wanted to see his buddies.) I feel so safe when I'm with him, so peaceful, the rest of the world just disappears, its wonderful. If I could spend my whole life just lying in his arms, I would do it in a heartbeat. He's amazing. I love him, I hope he realizes how much.

I'm still feel scared though, isn't that horrible? I suppose I don't feel scared, rather I feel really guilty. I know he loves me, but I worry that I might exhaust that, he's had to do so much for me lately and what have I done for him? Nothing. Little by little, this feeling that he's doing these wonderful things for me because he feels obligated to or because he feels pity for me instead of because he loves me grows. Aren't I horrible, he doesn't deserve to have been cursed with me. If I loved him, I would've let him go out with his friends, I try to put his happiness before mine, I really do, but I was so selfish last night...I've been really demanding of him lately...

You know, I think all of this stems from a fear of commitment...I'm not ready for this and I'm so frightened.