Well That Didn't Work

BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH
I got home safely, nobody stole me. Lol. My sister and I used to say that to our mother when we called her from friends' houses after school to assure her we were alright. Everyone's been asking about how London was. My answer: British. Nah, London was amazing.

So what's new with everyone else? A lot and nothing on my end. Only a few things are going on environmentally in my life, but my mind is racing like always. Let me lay it out for you.

Environmental
I'm going home this weekend;my mom wants to see me. Strangely enough, I'm not dreading it. Weird.

Guys...arghhh! I've got Adi and my mother both pestering me about why I'm single. Meanwhile, here I am still obsessing over Dennis (whom I'm still genuinely worried about) with no glimpse of escape (does that make sense?) in sight. As I've written here before, I have two ways of handling problems: 1. Fixing them. 2. Ignoring them until they are no longer important-Dennis will no longer be important when I meet someone new, someone truly special. Adi tells me I've been turning away great guys, like Conrad, etc. Well, add another two to the mix. Jeff told me he loved me, really loved me while I was in London. I'm not sure how to take that, honestly. Frankly, I'm a bit creeped out-he barely knows me. I mean, is it just me or what? Oh, and last night, my friend Joe kissed me; I don't know quite what to do with that either. Joe is one of Mitch's fraternity brothers. I'm probably reading too much into that one. Anyway, I'm just waiting for the right guy. Why start a relationship with anyone else? I've said it before and I'll say it again: it's not about finding a date, it's about finding someone you want to date.

Plans for the summer. I'm hoping to tend bar at a night club in Manhattan this summer. My mom's worried about me taking the subway late at night, but she'll get over it. Bartenders make a lot of money, up to a few hundred a night. I'm hoping if I tend bar all summer and next fall, I'll be able to buy a car (used, obviously.) I mean, a used [red] Jetta is usually less that $10,000 and I already have $6,000 saved up. I love driving (and I'd be able to drive to a job in Virginia next year) so I really hope it works out.

Me and my crazies.
I've been seriously undermotivated, not that that's anything new. It's taking a tremendous toll on me.

I'm registering for classes on the 28th and I still have no clue what I want to major in. If I had the opportunity, I think I'd like to take five, rather eclectic courses next semester-Comp. Sci, Psych, History, etc. to figure out what I want to study. Here's my problem (among a million others:) I have big dreams and big potential. I want to make a difference in the world, I want to do something academic, I want to use the potential I know I have in me somewhere, I need to. I really do...I wish I could just figure out how.

I can't even follow my thoughts anymore, I'm going so crazy quick.

Ok, that's it for now. Comments ()

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