Well That Didn't Work

I'M SPECIAL (IN A LOVED SENSE)
When I returned from having seen the Motorcycle Diaries with Dennis, I relayed some of the events of the evening to Zak as I often do. Being with Dennis had been too painful; I'd told him that I simply couldn't bear to see him anymore knowing that this should never have happened, knowing how confused he was. All I wanted was the chance to show him that. He was surprised that I'd managed to force the words "I don't think I can see you again" out of my mouth. And then, a miracle...he asked me to spend the day with him next Saturday. I came back crying. Zak ran to give me a hug; his shirt was soaked with my tears when he finally let go. He said "Sam, I'm so sorry," to which I replied, "No, you don't understand, I'm so happy. He's giving me a chance, I'm going out with him on Saturday." I cried hysterically for another 20 minutes, absolutely elated. Ultimately, Zak and my conversation directed itself towards the topic of love and what it really is. At 3:?? in the morning, we decided it would be best for both of us if we went to bed so I went up to my room and started finishing up some work before turning in. As I lay down, I received an IM from Zak informing me that he had recently posted a new entry in his blog and that I might want to read it at some point. Anyway, here it is:

"Thank You
Thank you for everything tonight. Thank you for dinner, for fun times, for the book you so generously bought me, everything. But really, I think you gave me a much bigger gift.

I've been lost for a while now, lost in a lonely and confused place. After all I've lost, after all I've been through, I wonder how I could ever get back, or even if the attempt was worth the effort. And I've been just so empty, because of all that I have had to give up in ending my last relationship. But from how you sounded talking about the love you share, the love you have that is just so much a part of you... I can't explain it, but I saw something there that I think I lost somewhere along the way.

I saw your determination, I saw your effort and strength, visible and tangible emotions and actions. But beyond that, I saw the love that you hold, how you will do anything for what you believe in. How you can never give up until the very last. And, maybe if one other person is going through something akin to what I have experienced, and they can succeed and prevail... maybe then so can I, in some way or another. Thank you for giving me back a little bit of hope tonight.

I guess things are stressful and sad, yeah. I miss my ex quite a great deal some nights, tonight being one of them. That we can't really even be a part of each others' lives at all makes it even sadder, but I suppose... 'c'est la vie'. But 'when it comes down to it', I know that if I just hold on a little bit longer, if I just keep the faith, so to speak... I can make it.

Thank you, Sam."

It was really touching...I'd wanted to post it earlier because it was so meaningful to me, but I wanted Zak's permission to re-publish it so I waited. And that's basically it for now. Have a nice day kidlets!
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