Well That Didn't Work

I found this image and thought it depicted fairly well the way I've been feeling lately: miserable, hopeless, alone...I really don't think Dennis understands, but I also realize that I can't keep turning to him every time I get remotely upset. Tonight, I happen to be extremely depressed, but I don't know if he can distinguish between the various levels and stages I experience because of all the times I've had to ask him for help lately. I don't think he sees a difference in the times I'm kinda down and the times I'm hopelessly depressed like tonight. I hope I'm not bringing him down; I've always tended to push people away when I'm down to keep them from getting depressed as well, but its different with Dennis; I always seem to want Dennis around when I'm depressed and that's something that scares me. He'd see all the crazy, he'd be scared or worse, I'd start dragging him down with me and I never want to hurt him like that. I wish he understood how I feel, how my mind works, instead of just seeing that I wasn't happy. He's so incredibly sweet, he tries to help. He talks to me when I'm upset and that's really nice, talking to someone really, really helps, but at the same time, he carries on the conversation as if I wasn't hysterically crying. I don't know if he's just trying to get my mind off of everything or if he just doesn't know how to handle that kind of situation. I wish he knew. I wish I knew.

At the same time, I don't think I want him to understand because to truly understand how I'm feeling, he'd have to experience it.